Comfortable Silences

A little something I wrote for myself.

Just the basic hand holding, being close, and light kisses on the cheek. Most people don't even think about it. Don't even realize that they are sharing it. It is something that sort of hides in the background until you realize that it isn't there. It is more important than anyone that has it realizes. I write this hoping to remember, when or if I manage to find this again, to truly realize how much it means to me. Laying in bed next to a girl who likes being there just as much as I do, in a silence, not of awkward nature, but of being completely comfortable in each other's presence.

An odd wish.

I want to be a hero. Holding back the darkness with a candle. Ever vigilant. Ever noble. Needing no recognition. Holding no pride. Just a flickering light against the tyranny, ignorance, injustice, and corruption in this world. A light against evil. I want to protect those that can not protect themselves. I want to protect these kids from being corrupted at an ever younger age. I want to heal broken hearts, souls, and minds. I want to end suffering for everyone I can reach. That is what it means to be a hero. Selflessness.

Little Lights

For my mother,

Lights in the darkness save humanity.
Like stars in the night sky.
Their glow illuminates our paths.
It guides us through the void.
A helping hand to the lost and lonely.
Not an inferno that scathes the body.
But, a cool, and gentle glow.
For purpose of a direction of living.
To continue to be who we are.
That light at the end of the tunnel.
Forever pushing us onward.
Encouraging us not to fall in despair.
We are the stars that save us.
Not for use to our own soul.
We light the hopes of our brethren.
Reassuring each other we aren't alone.
Becoming a constellation in the night.
Stronger than Orion,
Bigger than Ursa Major.
Continue to shine selflessly for others,
Little lights that dance in the night.

Thank you,
Christopher

The Lace Monster

I can see you in my sleep.
Who knew you were so sneaky?
Creeping in with the sunlight.
Or hiding in the endless night.
(I can't escape)
You're a monster,
Hidden behind a pretty face.
A horrid madness,
Covered in white lace.
You're inescapable.
Why can't I run?
You're unbreakable.
Why can't I defeat you?
I hear that noise again.
Where is it coming from?
A creak as my door turns.
The last breath starts to burn.
(I can't breathe)
Slowly the door turns wide.
No time to hide.
Standing there with haunting eyes.
I hope this dream dies.
You've taken friends and family,
And now you've come for me.
Taking all for Death to reap.
Prepping us for the eternal sleep.
(I can't wake)
You're inescapable.
I can't do this alone.
You're unbreakable.
My body isn't yours to own.

I am the foe
That falls to few
I can ruin all
I can ruin you
Let me in
And I'll crush your soul
Put your body into a hole
Ever the darkest affliction
I am addiction.

Quite the Crossroads.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice the best things you have in order to find the best parts of your soul. Ruin leading to enlightenment. I certainly feel the truth of this. I've lost some very important things in my life. Perhaps to others some of them weren't that important, but that's not really the point. I've lost important things to me, yet along the way I've been on a journey. I've  realized how far I will go before I break. I now know how much abuse my body will take before it tells me to stop being such an asshole. I've seen how much love a man can possess. I've known how it feels to be utterly useless. A drain on friends and family. I know what it's like to piss away thousands of dollars for a few cheap thrills. I saw what it is to be bullied. I've seen how far addiction will take a man. I can feel the difference in thought that maturity brings. I've seen things I've hated. I've done things I've hated. I know how that very first song that you string together on an instrument feels. The sheer and simple joy of being able to play with the universal orchestra. I know what it is to have a will that no man may break. I know what it is to lose a friend to the grip of Death's pale hands. A lover to things that were inconsequential. Or should have been, perhaps. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've realized how very little I really know even with all of this I just said. I've felt the joy of singing what is in my heart. I know how it feels to have a broken heart and how it feels to have true love. I have found, quite recently nonetheless, inner peace. Perhaps not always, but I'm surprisingly okay with that. I know that deep down, I'll be okay. I'm so content in who I am. Some say that's what maturity is. Perhaps they are right. It is hard for me to say. This peace enables me to see much clearer. It let's me see what I've done and acknowledge that it could have been worse, and that I'm doing fairly well in the now. You know, if you feel like shit, if you're depressed, if you're angry, or something just doesn't seem right, perhaps it's time to step back, and look in the mirror. Be at ease with who you are, and who you want to be, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel a lot happier than you would be if you weren't. Give it a try, and let me know how you feel after going on a journey of self-enlightenment. You don't actually have to go anywhere. Hell, most of mine was spent on the couch. After all, you guys know how lazy I am. Go with hope, my friends.

Christopher

P.S. The long road to ruin leads to the path of enlightenment. That is quite the crossroads.

I am Christopher Matthew Morgado.

Life is crazy, kid. Who you are is determined by what you learn from the fucked up shit. Don't ever forget that. Be a good man. Forgive your enemies. Love your woman. Protect your honor. And follow your dreams. Don't let anyone else tell you different. This is my code. "I believe that what I believe is what makes me what I am." Rich Mullins

Scars either build maturity or cover your soul until there isn't anything left, but pain. Which path you go down depends upon your determination. And how much love you have. Love heals all wounds, my friend. I am only filled with light because the sun rose. The night has ended. And even so. A cloud can still pass over the sky. I refuse to fear it. My light will never go out. "Deep down there is a light that never goes out." From the lips of Kayla Roseclere

I am a brother, son, uncle, future father, singer, musician, fighter, dreamer, man, boy, protector, and lover. I am many things. I am more than the sum of my parts. I am more than what my parents made me. I am less than perfect. I am less than amazing. I am only me. "It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is." Erasmus

I am happy. I am not who you think I am. I am happy with who I am. That seems kind of rare to me, yet so very enjoyable, similar to love. This is for you all.

Much love, fond wishes, and respect,

Christopher Matthew Morgado