Quite the Crossroads.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice the best things you have in order to find the best parts of your soul. Ruin leading to enlightenment. I certainly feel the truth of this. I've lost some very important things in my life. Perhaps to others some of them weren't that important, but that's not really the point. I've lost important things to me, yet along the way I've been on a journey. I've  realized how far I will go before I break. I now know how much abuse my body will take before it tells me to stop being such an asshole. I've seen how much love a man can possess. I've known how it feels to be utterly useless. A drain on friends and family. I know what it's like to piss away thousands of dollars for a few cheap thrills. I saw what it is to be bullied. I've seen how far addiction will take a man. I can feel the difference in thought that maturity brings. I've seen things I've hated. I've done things I've hated. I know how that very first song that you string together on an instrument feels. The sheer and simple joy of being able to play with the universal orchestra. I know what it is to have a will that no man may break. I know what it is to lose a friend to the grip of Death's pale hands. A lover to things that were inconsequential. Or should have been, perhaps. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've realized how very little I really know even with all of this I just said. I've felt the joy of singing what is in my heart. I know how it feels to have a broken heart and how it feels to have true love. I have found, quite recently nonetheless, inner peace. Perhaps not always, but I'm surprisingly okay with that. I know that deep down, I'll be okay. I'm so content in who I am. Some say that's what maturity is. Perhaps they are right. It is hard for me to say. This peace enables me to see much clearer. It let's me see what I've done and acknowledge that it could have been worse, and that I'm doing fairly well in the now. You know, if you feel like shit, if you're depressed, if you're angry, or something just doesn't seem right, perhaps it's time to step back, and look in the mirror. Be at ease with who you are, and who you want to be, and I'd be willing to bet that you'll feel a lot happier than you would be if you weren't. Give it a try, and let me know how you feel after going on a journey of self-enlightenment. You don't actually have to go anywhere. Hell, most of mine was spent on the couch. After all, you guys know how lazy I am. Go with hope, my friends.

Christopher

P.S. The long road to ruin leads to the path of enlightenment. That is quite the crossroads.