Into Beethoven's Arpeggio I go,
Until I'm lost in it's wondrous melody and flow
Across the universe these lyrics fly to me,
A parallel of what happened to Mozart and his requiem for a dream
Just a kid sitting in Missouri dreaming of Californication
Not a difference from any other youth across the nation
Giving plenty of loving, but finding no love
It is either a curse from below or blessing from above
You went looking for the rush to escape who you are
You're chasing the deep dive, like a dog chases a car
Memories running through my brain like blood running in a vein
Setting out for a childhood adventure, breathing in the salt air
Not having a care, surveying the beach as my domain
I am the king with a shining crown and flowing hair
Waking back up into reality with a melancholy smile
My body covered in tattoos, marking the miles
Glancing around at my brothers in the living room
Making the great music that is our love and doom
A musician's fate can become quite tragic
No room to run out of lyric, lick, or magic
Will we get so close we can almost taste it
Or in the end will it be used up and wasted
Hope still flows into that broad blue sky
I will keep this smile on my face until the day I die.
Should I make this a full-fledged song or keep it in poem format? I would love to have some answers.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Middle Children
"We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose, or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives."--Chuck Palahniuk
Name one person who has never been depressed. Can't do it, right? (If you can, I want to meet them. They must be a pure, unadulterated drop of rainbows and sunshine.) Why is that? I would like to know. I have a theory though. We humans latch onto our emotions, even the most jaded of us still feel something. Sadness is something that is hard to avoid in life. It can be rather hard to escape from as well. The world is a gritty, fucked up reality at times. It can be hard to face. Some people spend their whole lives trying to run from it. Once sadness grips us, the reason for the sadness doesn't go away overnight. It lingers and we all dwell on it. Like milk that's been left out of the fridge for a few days. I used to be one of those people that didn't understand why people couldn't just be happy. I couldn't understand why someone would take their own life. I learned. I was naive. There is nothing wrong with sadness if you have a good reason. Just makes sure it's the right one. Make yourself aware of all your surroundings. Tunnel vision on one thing leaves you open to assault from another. Every problem in this world would love to tear you to shreds. The question is if you'll let that happen. While there is life, there is hope. Be strong in who you are. You decide the line between sadness and depression. Life is a two sided coin after all. Just a little bit of give and a little bit of take.
Name one person who has never been depressed. Can't do it, right? (If you can, I want to meet them. They must be a pure, unadulterated drop of rainbows and sunshine.) Why is that? I would like to know. I have a theory though. We humans latch onto our emotions, even the most jaded of us still feel something. Sadness is something that is hard to avoid in life. It can be rather hard to escape from as well. The world is a gritty, fucked up reality at times. It can be hard to face. Some people spend their whole lives trying to run from it. Once sadness grips us, the reason for the sadness doesn't go away overnight. It lingers and we all dwell on it. Like milk that's been left out of the fridge for a few days. I used to be one of those people that didn't understand why people couldn't just be happy. I couldn't understand why someone would take their own life. I learned. I was naive. There is nothing wrong with sadness if you have a good reason. Just makes sure it's the right one. Make yourself aware of all your surroundings. Tunnel vision on one thing leaves you open to assault from another. Every problem in this world would love to tear you to shreds. The question is if you'll let that happen. While there is life, there is hope. Be strong in who you are. You decide the line between sadness and depression. Life is a two sided coin after all. Just a little bit of give and a little bit of take.
It's A Madhouse
My brain is a very strange place to be. At times I am the most random person you'll ever meet. I have a penchant for peaceful chaos. I can meditate. I can even do it easily. During most of the day my thoughts are so much more that I may express in this jumble of words. Not only is my train of thought seemingly off track, but if feels as if there are ten of the big monstrosities. There is a terrible madness within me that I cover with smiles, silly jokes, and stupid faces. The madness is at most times a strange animal joy that I experience just from being alive. It is hard to explain the thoughts that I so very rarely let out into the world. You might wonder, "Is this guy crazy?", I must reply with, "Hell yeah I am. What of it?" I am content with my madness and the methods behind it. I have been told that my brain is a piece of good real estate. Well, here I am. Let's start the bidding at $100.00. Do I hear $150.00?
Musicality: Your Bond With The Universe
The guitar strums. The bass hums.
The bang of the drum. The wind chime thrum.
The bees buzz. The cars vroom.
The people chatter. The birds natter.
The fence rattles. The glass shatters.
The fountain gushes. The wind blows the thrushes.
The fishermen whistle. The feet tap.
The hands snap. I listen.
The music of life surrounds me. My location doesn't matter. The notes of this life is something no man may master. Only pieces can be caught and held in the great orchestras. Symphonies that are but a small part of the Universe's melody. I can't master it, but I can hear it. It can give me goosebumps, it can make me cry, it can make me laugh, most of all it makes me feel like I have a soul. My body is dancing awkwardly to the rhythm, while my soul is dancing like the King of Pop himself. Every moment of my life is effected by this cosmic melody. I often bug people because I tap my feet quite often. Most assume this is because I have too much energy. Oh, how wrong they are. It is my own musicality trying to find a place to sit in the grand auditorium of the Universe. There are millions upon millions of songs in that place. Every simple song yearns to find it's way out of you. It needs to find it's place in the world. So, get out there, pick up an instrument, start singing, or beat box if you want to. Just let out the fire of your soul in order that we may all stay warm together.
The bang of the drum. The wind chime thrum.
The bees buzz. The cars vroom.
The people chatter. The birds natter.
The fence rattles. The glass shatters.
The fountain gushes. The wind blows the thrushes.
The fishermen whistle. The feet tap.
The hands snap. I listen.
The music of life surrounds me. My location doesn't matter. The notes of this life is something no man may master. Only pieces can be caught and held in the great orchestras. Symphonies that are but a small part of the Universe's melody. I can't master it, but I can hear it. It can give me goosebumps, it can make me cry, it can make me laugh, most of all it makes me feel like I have a soul. My body is dancing awkwardly to the rhythm, while my soul is dancing like the King of Pop himself. Every moment of my life is effected by this cosmic melody. I often bug people because I tap my feet quite often. Most assume this is because I have too much energy. Oh, how wrong they are. It is my own musicality trying to find a place to sit in the grand auditorium of the Universe. There are millions upon millions of songs in that place. Every simple song yearns to find it's way out of you. It needs to find it's place in the world. So, get out there, pick up an instrument, start singing, or beat box if you want to. Just let out the fire of your soul in order that we may all stay warm together.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Quite The Tall Order
Warning, if you don't want to read something mildly sappy, this is not for you.
I want your smile to be as fresh as the first snow flake in the dead of winter and as brilliant as the noon day sun. I want you to be as serene and graceful as a full moon. I want you to be as playful as a child running around in the ocean for the very first time. I want your hair to drift lazily about in a cool summer breeze. I want your eyes to be filled the fire of a distant star. I want your voice to be a seductive kiss to my ears. I want your laughter to resonate like a wind chime. I want your scent to be like the air after a rainstorm and like the last flowers of spring. I want you to sing like a siren from the Greek epics. I want you to be as witty and sharp as a razor's edge. I want you to be as kind and caring as the perfect mother. I want you to not give a damn what you look like so long as I think you are beautiful. I want you to be more truthful than God. I want your heart to be so open that I can see it with my eyes closed yet be as mysterious as a Sherlock Holmes novel. I want you to love and accept me as much as I love and accept you. I want you to be wiser and more intelligent than Athena. I want you to make me feel as nervous as a boy about to get his first kiss. I want you to heal my hurts with just a touch on the shoulder and a melancholy smile. I want to find you, know you, spend my life with you, and grow old with you. I want us to be as perfect as the first rays of the dawn and the last rays of dusk. I want you. Come find me?
I want your smile to be as fresh as the first snow flake in the dead of winter and as brilliant as the noon day sun. I want you to be as serene and graceful as a full moon. I want you to be as playful as a child running around in the ocean for the very first time. I want your hair to drift lazily about in a cool summer breeze. I want your eyes to be filled the fire of a distant star. I want your voice to be a seductive kiss to my ears. I want your laughter to resonate like a wind chime. I want your scent to be like the air after a rainstorm and like the last flowers of spring. I want you to sing like a siren from the Greek epics. I want you to be as witty and sharp as a razor's edge. I want you to be as kind and caring as the perfect mother. I want you to not give a damn what you look like so long as I think you are beautiful. I want you to be more truthful than God. I want your heart to be so open that I can see it with my eyes closed yet be as mysterious as a Sherlock Holmes novel. I want you to love and accept me as much as I love and accept you. I want you to be wiser and more intelligent than Athena. I want you to make me feel as nervous as a boy about to get his first kiss. I want you to heal my hurts with just a touch on the shoulder and a melancholy smile. I want to find you, know you, spend my life with you, and grow old with you. I want us to be as perfect as the first rays of the dawn and the last rays of dusk. I want you. Come find me?
I'm Jack's What?
Lines running throughout me like text on a page. I am not easily read as the words upon this page. I am unique. I tell a story about you. I know all of your stories, because I was there with you. I am a reminder of your experience, your profession, and your lifestyle. Those that can read me will know your entire life. What am I? I am nothing complex. In fact, I am very simple. I am Jack's two open hands. We use our hands every day, but we don't stop to consider how much we rely on them. They speak our life stories. A musician has calluses on the tips of his fingers. A swordsman has calluses from where he grips the hilt of his blade. I look at my hands and see both of these. A writer has a callus in the crook of his thumb. I am developing one of these. It makes me proud. Our hand are like ring on a tree, if you read them correctly you will learn much. So next you type, write, eat, play guitar, or bang on your drums, remember to appreciate what you have. What would your hands say about you?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
A human's story never dies.
July 28th, 2010
There are people that think that once we are dead it is all over. I am one of those. I am commonly known as an atheist. My viewpoint however is just a bit different than your average atheist. Most of us can agree that we can not live forever, no matter what we do. Most of us ask, "What is the purpose of this life if there isn't a God?" Some say that there isn't any purpose to this life. I have my own answer to this age old question, as I'm sure all of you do as well. Our purpose in this life is to be the absolute best we can be in the short time given to us. We are here to live out our potential, whether for good or ill, that our parents came together for. We change this whole planet with every breath we take. If you move a single grain of sand in a desert, you have changed the face of this planet. It is possible to live forever, because though memories grow dim and die in the great veil we call time, we change our planet and everything else that inhabits it. In that sense we live forever in the amazing loom of fate. We are the great stewards of this world and our fate. We are the endless. Not gods, not perfect beings, not masters of death and time. Merely endless. What we do changes the fate of the human race and this planet. We change the fate of billions by waking up in the morning. What are you going to do today?
There are people that think that once we are dead it is all over. I am one of those. I am commonly known as an atheist. My viewpoint however is just a bit different than your average atheist. Most of us can agree that we can not live forever, no matter what we do. Most of us ask, "What is the purpose of this life if there isn't a God?" Some say that there isn't any purpose to this life. I have my own answer to this age old question, as I'm sure all of you do as well. Our purpose in this life is to be the absolute best we can be in the short time given to us. We are here to live out our potential, whether for good or ill, that our parents came together for. We change this whole planet with every breath we take. If you move a single grain of sand in a desert, you have changed the face of this planet. It is possible to live forever, because though memories grow dim and die in the great veil we call time, we change our planet and everything else that inhabits it. In that sense we live forever in the amazing loom of fate. We are the great stewards of this world and our fate. We are the endless. Not gods, not perfect beings, not masters of death and time. Merely endless. What we do changes the fate of the human race and this planet. We change the fate of billions by waking up in the morning. What are you going to do today?
Big City Evil In A Small Town
July 30th, 2010
My skull opened up and this flew out of my brain. It's from not liking this small town. It kind of strangles the creative flow at times. It isn't very pleasant. It's quite dark. I wasn't going to initially post it. Please don't try to burn my house down over my lyrics. :P
The pages are turning faster and faster,
I put ink on them and become their master,
The days have come when I burn it all down,
Everything will in this pathetic fucking town,
If it survives it becomes filled with social distortion,
Jobless fathers and young teens getting abortions,
Everyone running around, trying to get high,
Trying to escape from the truth, for they prefer the lie,
Sickness, famine, disease, war, and corruption,
All these politicians spitting words like lava from an eruption,
These young men and women knowing nothing but crime,
While all the little children look for something to mime,
The depravity is running rampant through the air,
The people lost long ago, the will to care,
The elderly look around and frown,
At all the big city crime in such a small town,
What happened to all the good in the world, they cry
The youth respond with hurry up and die,
All of this hate is making me sick,
As the good man lies down on the pavement,
He has become silenced with a single swift kick.
My skull opened up and this flew out of my brain. It's from not liking this small town. It kind of strangles the creative flow at times. It isn't very pleasant. It's quite dark. I wasn't going to initially post it. Please don't try to burn my house down over my lyrics. :P
The pages are turning faster and faster,
I put ink on them and become their master,
The days have come when I burn it all down,
Everything will in this pathetic fucking town,
If it survives it becomes filled with social distortion,
Jobless fathers and young teens getting abortions,
Everyone running around, trying to get high,
Trying to escape from the truth, for they prefer the lie,
Sickness, famine, disease, war, and corruption,
All these politicians spitting words like lava from an eruption,
These young men and women knowing nothing but crime,
While all the little children look for something to mime,
The depravity is running rampant through the air,
The people lost long ago, the will to care,
The elderly look around and frown,
At all the big city crime in such a small town,
What happened to all the good in the world, they cry
The youth respond with hurry up and die,
All of this hate is making me sick,
As the good man lies down on the pavement,
He has become silenced with a single swift kick.
Rediscovery. Journal Time.
July 30th, 2010
Big, fat, puffy clouds slowly pass over head. The sun is blazing outside. It's hotter than a metaphorical Hades. It's a good day. I've not quite been glued to this couch. I went inside a college. I'm going to take a class. I don't know what I'm taking quite yet. But I would like to take a music course. I'm also planning on arranging some bass lessons in about a week. Life feels quite excellent. I've been postponing all of my goals for so long I almost forgot how to have one. I've rediscovered my heart in the past few weeks, as I'm sure some of you see. I just feel good. I've settled into my alone time rather well, and for once, I'm enjoying it. I'm looking forward to getting an apartment and car soon. I'm almost there. Just a paycheck or two more. I'm excited for so much of the future. I've been like this before. But this time there is a marked difference. I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing it for a girl. I'm not doing it for my friends. I'm not doing it for my family. It's a rather large difference. I'm getting stuff done. I'm enjoying myself. Just sitting around, playing my bass, singing all kinds of random songs. Quite a few I can't reach the pitch for. :D Oh well, I'll get there. Life is filled with music, yet oddly quiet. No lady friends equals lots of peace and quiet. Though I wouldn't mind one to spice up the place. Well, I'm rambling. Have a lovely day, ladies and gentlemen.
Big, fat, puffy clouds slowly pass over head. The sun is blazing outside. It's hotter than a metaphorical Hades. It's a good day. I've not quite been glued to this couch. I went inside a college. I'm going to take a class. I don't know what I'm taking quite yet. But I would like to take a music course. I'm also planning on arranging some bass lessons in about a week. Life feels quite excellent. I've been postponing all of my goals for so long I almost forgot how to have one. I've rediscovered my heart in the past few weeks, as I'm sure some of you see. I just feel good. I've settled into my alone time rather well, and for once, I'm enjoying it. I'm looking forward to getting an apartment and car soon. I'm almost there. Just a paycheck or two more. I'm excited for so much of the future. I've been like this before. But this time there is a marked difference. I'm doing this for me. I'm not doing it for a girl. I'm not doing it for my friends. I'm not doing it for my family. It's a rather large difference. I'm getting stuff done. I'm enjoying myself. Just sitting around, playing my bass, singing all kinds of random songs. Quite a few I can't reach the pitch for. :D Oh well, I'll get there. Life is filled with music, yet oddly quiet. No lady friends equals lots of peace and quiet. Though I wouldn't mind one to spice up the place. Well, I'm rambling. Have a lovely day, ladies and gentlemen.
Drifting.
July 27th, 2010
Hues and shades of all colors of the rainbow. Shapes and sizes of both what is and what can be. Perpetually shifting and swirling. Inspiring thoughts and creations. Guiding lover's passion and lone wolf's sorrow. Changing the face of this planet with it's ever-shifting pattern. Drifting in and out of sight. Catching the echoes of darkness and light. Becoming heat and freeze. Catching the sun and guiding the breeze. Talked about in epics and songs. The God fearing man's guide. The sailor's Lady Luck. Endlessly surviving summer and winter. Watching dusk and dawn. Overseeing the people as they move about on their lawn. Harbinger of doom and fate. This is my skyline.
Hues and shades of all colors of the rainbow. Shapes and sizes of both what is and what can be. Perpetually shifting and swirling. Inspiring thoughts and creations. Guiding lover's passion and lone wolf's sorrow. Changing the face of this planet with it's ever-shifting pattern. Drifting in and out of sight. Catching the echoes of darkness and light. Becoming heat and freeze. Catching the sun and guiding the breeze. Talked about in epics and songs. The God fearing man's guide. The sailor's Lady Luck. Endlessly surviving summer and winter. Watching dusk and dawn. Overseeing the people as they move about on their lawn. Harbinger of doom and fate. This is my skyline.
The Needle In The Haystack
July 26th, 2010
Love. Men and women search for it their whole lives and never find it. I've been searching for quite some time, and yet I have not found it myself. I want it so badly that it is at times a constant ache in my heart, however I have also paused to consider whether or not I am ready for it. I believe that I am. I wasn't always mature enough to handle it, but I'm older now, and while age is no sign of maturity, experience certainly is. With that maturity comes the realization that love is no easy thing to find. Love is more the needle in the haystack variety. Some people just get lucky. Other people have years of searching, and even then might not find it. Girls talk to me everyday. Girls flirt with me everyday. I remember the days when I found it hard to even say anything to a girl. Even something as simple as the greeting word, "Hi." I was quite shy and very inexperienced. Today I am a completely different person. I want to find that girl I will marry and love, however I am taking a break from the search. This is not a break I am taking because of pain from the past haunting me. This is a break for some 'me' time. It is filled with music, writing, and loneliness. I find that I'm completely alright with this. It feels good to just sit back and be who I am. My music and writings have gotten worlds better. I am no longer putting so much effort into actively seeking for you, whoever you may be. I am merely waiting for you to walk by, hear the music, read these lyrics and poems, and decide that this is where you want to be. I promised I'd never sing of love if it did not exist, but darling, you'll be my only exception.
Love. Men and women search for it their whole lives and never find it. I've been searching for quite some time, and yet I have not found it myself. I want it so badly that it is at times a constant ache in my heart, however I have also paused to consider whether or not I am ready for it. I believe that I am. I wasn't always mature enough to handle it, but I'm older now, and while age is no sign of maturity, experience certainly is. With that maturity comes the realization that love is no easy thing to find. Love is more the needle in the haystack variety. Some people just get lucky. Other people have years of searching, and even then might not find it. Girls talk to me everyday. Girls flirt with me everyday. I remember the days when I found it hard to even say anything to a girl. Even something as simple as the greeting word, "Hi." I was quite shy and very inexperienced. Today I am a completely different person. I want to find that girl I will marry and love, however I am taking a break from the search. This is not a break I am taking because of pain from the past haunting me. This is a break for some 'me' time. It is filled with music, writing, and loneliness. I find that I'm completely alright with this. It feels good to just sit back and be who I am. My music and writings have gotten worlds better. I am no longer putting so much effort into actively seeking for you, whoever you may be. I am merely waiting for you to walk by, hear the music, read these lyrics and poems, and decide that this is where you want to be. I promised I'd never sing of love if it did not exist, but darling, you'll be my only exception.
For the writers.
July 20th, 2010
The ink on this page, the text on this screen, it is the window into my heart and soul.
I have been writing for some time now, but never put it into the public eye. I have noticed that since I gave been doing so, a lot more people speak with me about deeper issues. Quite a few more people hold this sense of respect for what I have to say, it is as if my opinion is slightly weightier. At first I could not figure out why this was, but then I thought about it, perhaps it is because I am putting a lot more of my feelings and thoughts out there. Other writers want me to peruse their manuscripts. I feel as if I do not deserve such praise and respect. My mind is boggled at the fact that people actually enjoy what I do. The best part of this or perhaps the most ironic is that I first started doing it purely as a form of release. In something I have read tonight a fellow author stated that, "You hold the power of gods within your words." I begin to suspect the truth behind this. I've recently been doing this as more than just a need to release. I've been doing this to spread hope, light, and laughter to all who might glance at my little attempts at writing. For no profit of my own other than hearing people laugh and watching them smile. I'm not perfect, but I will wield this godly power to the best of my ability. Words for the writers out there from me. Don't ever stop. Create pictures in the heads of millions. Become an inspiration to others. Wield your power for good. Last, but most certainly not least, thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. They are what keeps me posting all of this insane nonsense. I hope you all have wonderful nights. Please don't stop.
The ink on this page, the text on this screen, it is the window into my heart and soul.
I have been writing for some time now, but never put it into the public eye. I have noticed that since I gave been doing so, a lot more people speak with me about deeper issues. Quite a few more people hold this sense of respect for what I have to say, it is as if my opinion is slightly weightier. At first I could not figure out why this was, but then I thought about it, perhaps it is because I am putting a lot more of my feelings and thoughts out there. Other writers want me to peruse their manuscripts. I feel as if I do not deserve such praise and respect. My mind is boggled at the fact that people actually enjoy what I do. The best part of this or perhaps the most ironic is that I first started doing it purely as a form of release. In something I have read tonight a fellow author stated that, "You hold the power of gods within your words." I begin to suspect the truth behind this. I've recently been doing this as more than just a need to release. I've been doing this to spread hope, light, and laughter to all who might glance at my little attempts at writing. For no profit of my own other than hearing people laugh and watching them smile. I'm not perfect, but I will wield this godly power to the best of my ability. Words for the writers out there from me. Don't ever stop. Create pictures in the heads of millions. Become an inspiration to others. Wield your power for good. Last, but most certainly not least, thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. They are what keeps me posting all of this insane nonsense. I hope you all have wonderful nights. Please don't stop.
Life Changer
July 20th, 2010
There is one thing in life for which I have always been slandered and praised for, that being my refusal to ever do drugs. I have been praised because people think that it is through my own strength that I do so. I have been slandered as a coward or a pansy because I do so. I deserve neither the praise nor the slander. But most of all there is the underlying question by all I tell about this. Why not? I hope to answer that for you her. I have seen it completely change people forever. I have lost friends and loved ones because of it. I have seen people lose themselves to it. I've had people I cared about die. So thus I have sworn to never do drugs. I'm not a man to go back on my word. I'm not a man to let those memories of the people I love be sullied by my actions. Now don't misunderstand, I don't mind if you enjoy some recreational activities. But I have seen too many people cross over from just occasionally for fun into true addiction and I refuse to let that happen to myself. If you can handle the fun without the addiction more power to you. If you don't cross the line. Toe the line all you want, but as for myself I'd rather walk in the other direction. So, judge me if you wish. But it is all in memory of people I cared about. I don't stand alone. Just to remind you all that I have a lot of fun, just being me. Though I won't blame or judge you at the same time I can't approve. There is always that slightest chance of addiction. That scares me.
There is one thing in life for which I have always been slandered and praised for, that being my refusal to ever do drugs. I have been praised because people think that it is through my own strength that I do so. I have been slandered as a coward or a pansy because I do so. I deserve neither the praise nor the slander. But most of all there is the underlying question by all I tell about this. Why not? I hope to answer that for you her. I have seen it completely change people forever. I have lost friends and loved ones because of it. I have seen people lose themselves to it. I've had people I cared about die. So thus I have sworn to never do drugs. I'm not a man to go back on my word. I'm not a man to let those memories of the people I love be sullied by my actions. Now don't misunderstand, I don't mind if you enjoy some recreational activities. But I have seen too many people cross over from just occasionally for fun into true addiction and I refuse to let that happen to myself. If you can handle the fun without the addiction more power to you. If you don't cross the line. Toe the line all you want, but as for myself I'd rather walk in the other direction. So, judge me if you wish. But it is all in memory of people I cared about. I don't stand alone. Just to remind you all that I have a lot of fun, just being me. Though I won't blame or judge you at the same time I can't approve. There is always that slightest chance of addiction. That scares me.
That Morning In May
July 19th, 2010
I was once possessed by those stellar eyes,
Until that is, you told me all of those lies,
But yet still I find that they are haunting me,
Some days afterwords they were all I could see,
They made me a monster gorged on depravity,
And then there came a time when I realized,
I realized I was free and you are what made me, me
There are still days in which I long to see your face,
But it has dimmed since we left that day and place,
I have found that I've reached a new age,
In which I can laugh, live, and love,
It is as if I my life changed, just like the turning of a page,
All because of those days that were like bliss from above,
And now those stellar eyes are all watered down,
I have left that wonderful place in that beautiful town,
I'm not bitter, I hope you enjoy your life,
Even if for a while mine was filled with strife,
So just to let you know, thanks for helping me learn,
I'll drop these pages in the fire and watch them slowly burn,
I was once possessed by those eyes,
Until that day in May in which I did nothing but cry.
I was once possessed by those stellar eyes,
Until that is, you told me all of those lies,
But yet still I find that they are haunting me,
Some days afterwords they were all I could see,
They made me a monster gorged on depravity,
And then there came a time when I realized,
I realized I was free and you are what made me, me
There are still days in which I long to see your face,
But it has dimmed since we left that day and place,
I have found that I've reached a new age,
In which I can laugh, live, and love,
It is as if I my life changed, just like the turning of a page,
All because of those days that were like bliss from above,
And now those stellar eyes are all watered down,
I have left that wonderful place in that beautiful town,
I'm not bitter, I hope you enjoy your life,
Even if for a while mine was filled with strife,
So just to let you know, thanks for helping me learn,
I'll drop these pages in the fire and watch them slowly burn,
I was once possessed by those eyes,
Until that day in May in which I did nothing but cry.
So long as I live.
July 19th, 2010
Tonight I reach out to all of you that have been kicked, stepped on, beaten down and trampled. Just remember these four words. You are not alone. I know the pain of having loved and lost. I know the pain of being used. I know the pain of loneliness. I know the pain of being cheated on. I know the pain of being looked upon like I was some piece of shit lying in a gutter not worth the time of others. I'm not saying this to brag or act like my life has been such a hard road. I don't want pity or empathy, I deserve not these things. I say these things because I don't want you to face this pain alone. I say this to offer a candle of life and light in your time of darkness. I say this to help. I say this because I love you and I know that there are some things no one should have to go through. Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Sons, and Daughters. I love all of you. If you need advice, someone to lean on, or just someone to listen without judgment, don't hesitate to call me. My number is 417-650-0180. Just remember that I'm here and that you are not alone. Good night all.
Tonight I reach out to all of you that have been kicked, stepped on, beaten down and trampled. Just remember these four words. You are not alone. I know the pain of having loved and lost. I know the pain of being used. I know the pain of loneliness. I know the pain of being cheated on. I know the pain of being looked upon like I was some piece of shit lying in a gutter not worth the time of others. I'm not saying this to brag or act like my life has been such a hard road. I don't want pity or empathy, I deserve not these things. I say these things because I don't want you to face this pain alone. I say this to offer a candle of life and light in your time of darkness. I say this to help. I say this because I love you and I know that there are some things no one should have to go through. Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Sons, and Daughters. I love all of you. If you need advice, someone to lean on, or just someone to listen without judgment, don't hesitate to call me. My number is 417-650-0180. Just remember that I'm here and that you are not alone. Good night all.
Music equals love.
July 16th, 2010
Lately I have been struck by the amazing beauty this world we inhabit really is. I have been struck by the shear cosmic orchestra that music has always been. Recently I've started writing my heart out onto these pages for all of you to see. I do this because I want to share with all of you the joy that writing these lyrics, and playing these melodies brings me. It is absolutely phenomenal. There is a cliche saying that music is love, or music equals love. It seems to be cliche to us because we hear it so often. Honestly though, how many people stop and consider about what something as simple as that actually means? If it is overused would that not make it more likely to be true? Fuck yes it would. People often say that music equals love, to be perfectly honest I thought it was rather cliche too. Then I started to open my eyes to see and my ears to hear. I saw the love that was crafted into the music. I could hear the love being poured back out through the lyrics. If people ever end up asking me why I do this, my response shall be, "I do this to spread love, light, and hope to everyone that hears even a scrap of one of my songs." "I will not stop until I draw my very last breath." Music that is done for anything else isn't important because to me, music is love." My heart writes these words on these pages for you. Good night all you friends, lovers, thinkers, and dreamers. May there be a melody in your dreams to make you weep, laugh, dance, love, and sing.
Lately I have been struck by the amazing beauty this world we inhabit really is. I have been struck by the shear cosmic orchestra that music has always been. Recently I've started writing my heart out onto these pages for all of you to see. I do this because I want to share with all of you the joy that writing these lyrics, and playing these melodies brings me. It is absolutely phenomenal. There is a cliche saying that music is love, or music equals love. It seems to be cliche to us because we hear it so often. Honestly though, how many people stop and consider about what something as simple as that actually means? If it is overused would that not make it more likely to be true? Fuck yes it would. People often say that music equals love, to be perfectly honest I thought it was rather cliche too. Then I started to open my eyes to see and my ears to hear. I saw the love that was crafted into the music. I could hear the love being poured back out through the lyrics. If people ever end up asking me why I do this, my response shall be, "I do this to spread love, light, and hope to everyone that hears even a scrap of one of my songs." "I will not stop until I draw my very last breath." Music that is done for anything else isn't important because to me, music is love." My heart writes these words on these pages for you. Good night all you friends, lovers, thinkers, and dreamers. May there be a melody in your dreams to make you weep, laugh, dance, love, and sing.
Here We Go Again.
July 14th, 2010
This a love song for no one in particular. I just wrote it. So maybe it's for the future. Or maybe its just random. Who really knows?
Maybe You Will See
Its a beautiful day in the month of May.
And its for rebirth, I see your eyes filled with mirth.
Its lovely outside and you're lovely inside.
Its a beautiful day in the month of May.
And I know how much I love you.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
It's a beautiful day in the month of May.
Maybe you'll see.
Maybe you'll see.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
Its a summer full of love, it's a gift from above.
And it's warm outside underneath the night sky.
The moon is so bright, you can see the stars by the firelight.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
And I know how much I love you.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
Maybe you'll see.
Maybe you'll see.
And now its July and I see hope in your eyes.
So I take out this ring and I start to sing,
This is your song,
You don't have to sing along.
It's a song for you,
Now just please say I do.
And now its July and there is love in our eyes.
You finally saw.
You finally saw...
This a love song for no one in particular. I just wrote it. So maybe it's for the future. Or maybe its just random. Who really knows?
Maybe You Will See
Its a beautiful day in the month of May.
And its for rebirth, I see your eyes filled with mirth.
Its lovely outside and you're lovely inside.
Its a beautiful day in the month of May.
And I know how much I love you.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
It's a beautiful day in the month of May.
Maybe you'll see.
Maybe you'll see.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
Its a summer full of love, it's a gift from above.
And it's warm outside underneath the night sky.
The moon is so bright, you can see the stars by the firelight.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
And I know how much I love you.
You don't know how much you mean to me.
I'm looking at the moon in the month of June.
Maybe you'll see.
Maybe you'll see.
And now its July and I see hope in your eyes.
So I take out this ring and I start to sing,
This is your song,
You don't have to sing along.
It's a song for you,
Now just please say I do.
And now its July and there is love in our eyes.
You finally saw.
You finally saw...
A surprising addition.
July 13th, 2010
Just to be clear, I'm not an anarchist.
Social What?
The working class man always gets pushed down.
The working class man gets treated like a clown.
The middle class man does alright.
The middle class man works throughout the night.
The upper class man stands on them all.
The upper class man never takes the fall.
Is this social equality or social depravity?
Man has to gone the moon but is brought back by gravity.
Kids go to college so they can learn.
Get their diplomas, which might as well burn.
If you're getting stepped on by the man,
This is your only available plan.
Rise and fight the tyranny.
Rise and fight the power.
Rise and fight the monarchy.
Rise and fight the tower.
Rise and fight with anarchy.
The working class man rises and fights.
The working class man stands up for his rights.
The middle class man says, "Just let it be."
The middle class man is weak at the knees.
The upper class man tries to lay down the law.
The upper class man feeds the monarchy's maw.
Is this social equality or social depravity?
You may think its illusion, but trust me its reality.
Your parents always told you to get a job.
I'm telling you to join the mob
Because if you are getting stepped on by the man,
Join the mob and I'll tell you our plan!!
Rise and fight the tyranny.
Rise and fight the power.
Rise and fight the monarchy.
Rise and fight the tower.
Rise and fight with anarchy!!
Just to be clear, I'm not an anarchist.
Social What?
The working class man always gets pushed down.
The working class man gets treated like a clown.
The middle class man does alright.
The middle class man works throughout the night.
The upper class man stands on them all.
The upper class man never takes the fall.
Is this social equality or social depravity?
Man has to gone the moon but is brought back by gravity.
Kids go to college so they can learn.
Get their diplomas, which might as well burn.
If you're getting stepped on by the man,
This is your only available plan.
Rise and fight the tyranny.
Rise and fight the power.
Rise and fight the monarchy.
Rise and fight the tower.
Rise and fight with anarchy.
The working class man rises and fights.
The working class man stands up for his rights.
The middle class man says, "Just let it be."
The middle class man is weak at the knees.
The upper class man tries to lay down the law.
The upper class man feeds the monarchy's maw.
Is this social equality or social depravity?
You may think its illusion, but trust me its reality.
Your parents always told you to get a job.
I'm telling you to join the mob
Because if you are getting stepped on by the man,
Join the mob and I'll tell you our plan!!
Rise and fight the tyranny.
Rise and fight the power.
Rise and fight the monarchy.
Rise and fight the tower.
Rise and fight with anarchy!!
Once upon a time,
July 6th, 2010
There was once a boy that became a man. When the man was a boy he searched everywhere for love. Yet, he could not find it. For the boy was very foolish and made many mistakes on his path of life. Yet he didn't have to pay for them, not yet. But now that boy is a man. He recognizes his mistakes and the gravity of the payment they are due. That man realizes that he didn't become a man by growing older or wiser, the boy became a man through the mistakes he made. However that man still searches for love and someone to share it with him. It's a long road on that search, with many differing paths. That man longs for what he has been searching for his entire life. He is determined to find it. That man won't give up his light or his hope. He will never turn to the darkness again. He learned from a girl that there is a light that never goes out no matter how strong the darkness may be. I was that boy. I am that man. I am who I am. I have regrets. I learned from them. I have felt the pain of losing people you love. It has made me live life fuller. You may assume this man only cares about himself, but by whatever power there is in the heavens, you don't know the real me. I will give my last dime to you. I will bust my ass for you. I will be there for you in the darkness. Holding a light so you aren't alone. None of my friends will have to be alone as long as I draw breath. All you have to do is ask. If you need something, let me know. I love you all. My brothers and sisters, it is time for us to be what can be. Time to show some potential. I will stop now before I begin to ramble.
There was once a boy that became a man. When the man was a boy he searched everywhere for love. Yet, he could not find it. For the boy was very foolish and made many mistakes on his path of life. Yet he didn't have to pay for them, not yet. But now that boy is a man. He recognizes his mistakes and the gravity of the payment they are due. That man realizes that he didn't become a man by growing older or wiser, the boy became a man through the mistakes he made. However that man still searches for love and someone to share it with him. It's a long road on that search, with many differing paths. That man longs for what he has been searching for his entire life. He is determined to find it. That man won't give up his light or his hope. He will never turn to the darkness again. He learned from a girl that there is a light that never goes out no matter how strong the darkness may be. I was that boy. I am that man. I am who I am. I have regrets. I learned from them. I have felt the pain of losing people you love. It has made me live life fuller. You may assume this man only cares about himself, but by whatever power there is in the heavens, you don't know the real me. I will give my last dime to you. I will bust my ass for you. I will be there for you in the darkness. Holding a light so you aren't alone. None of my friends will have to be alone as long as I draw breath. All you have to do is ask. If you need something, let me know. I love you all. My brothers and sisters, it is time for us to be what can be. Time to show some potential. I will stop now before I begin to ramble.
Just Some Lyrics
June 11th, 2010
Why do the children of the world destroy who they are?
How of all the rules they make, is this the one we mar?
I'm sickened by all the hate, and all the lust.
Do any of us truly realize that we do go back to dust?
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
We inflict so much pain on each other
Why can't we treat the world like a brother?
I've lied, I've cheated, I've died, Would you believe it?
I'm the man you've burned all of the bridges for
Would you call me? Would you knock on my door?
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
There are those of us that mess with drugs
I'm drinking down this beer. I have to chug.
I was a monster. But I've grown sick of the depravity
I'm stuck on this earth, glued by gravity
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
I've gained a new sight
My eyes were struck by the light
If I'm mired in the hate and I get stuck
I don't care who are as long as you give a fuck
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar
Why do the children of the world destroy who they are?
How of all the rules they make, is this the one we mar?
I'm sickened by all the hate, and all the lust.
Do any of us truly realize that we do go back to dust?
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
We inflict so much pain on each other
Why can't we treat the world like a brother?
I've lied, I've cheated, I've died, Would you believe it?
I'm the man you've burned all of the bridges for
Would you call me? Would you knock on my door?
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
There are those of us that mess with drugs
I'm drinking down this beer. I have to chug.
I was a monster. But I've grown sick of the depravity
I'm stuck on this earth, glued by gravity
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar,
I've gained a new sight
My eyes were struck by the light
If I'm mired in the hate and I get stuck
I don't care who are as long as you give a fuck
Crossings of the mind,
Crossings of mankind,
Crossings of lust,
Crossings made of dust,
Crossings of who we are,
Crossings that we must mar
Today.
May 10th, 2010
I realized that my life has gotten to the point to where some of my memories seem to be a stranger's. It makes my brain quiver and my skin crawl. I never thought it would be like that when I got older. That the memory of them would slowly fade with time. I never thought I could have experienced such depths of joy and sorrow. I never could have imagined all the girls who would be mine for a time. That's the part the young me couldn't even begin to understand. If any of us look back on our youth, then look at who we've become, did any of us think we would become who we are? I don't think it likely. I've been running through old memories all day, today. Just so I can keep my memories, mine. It's a strange feeling. Is this the first sign of age? Or was it that some of it traumatized me, so that they had to seem like someone else's? I don't know. But I don't like it either way. My memories are mine. I want to keep them that way. Yet I find that I'm slightly uncomfortable with this long strange road at times. Where will it lead? I can not even begin to fathom. If I've changed this much in almost 21 years what will I be like in another 21? Will I still even be myself? Dear God, I'm rambling. Thus I'll run off to bed, as I have to work tomorrow/today, and leave you all to my musings.
I realized that my life has gotten to the point to where some of my memories seem to be a stranger's. It makes my brain quiver and my skin crawl. I never thought it would be like that when I got older. That the memory of them would slowly fade with time. I never thought I could have experienced such depths of joy and sorrow. I never could have imagined all the girls who would be mine for a time. That's the part the young me couldn't even begin to understand. If any of us look back on our youth, then look at who we've become, did any of us think we would become who we are? I don't think it likely. I've been running through old memories all day, today. Just so I can keep my memories, mine. It's a strange feeling. Is this the first sign of age? Or was it that some of it traumatized me, so that they had to seem like someone else's? I don't know. But I don't like it either way. My memories are mine. I want to keep them that way. Yet I find that I'm slightly uncomfortable with this long strange road at times. Where will it lead? I can not even begin to fathom. If I've changed this much in almost 21 years what will I be like in another 21? Will I still even be myself? Dear God, I'm rambling. Thus I'll run off to bed, as I have to work tomorrow/today, and leave you all to my musings.
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